It's Good To Talk: The Importance of Dialogue

Where religion is concerned, it seems to me that when the talking stops the knives tend to come out. Buddhism, which tends to be perceived as a peaceful religion, has relied upon our willingness to talk to each other (rather rather kill or harm each other) to get its message across. I was attracted to the Dharma during the early 1970s because it did promote that spirit of free enquiry which encourages human beings to enter into dialogue with each other rather than go in search of a knife-sharpener.

Whilst dusting off some of the books I've had on my shelves these past 30 years, I came across the long forgotten "Outlines of Mahayana Buddhism" by the Zen scholar D T Suzuki, which was first published in 1907. My paperback version was re-published in 1963 by Schocken Books with a "prefatory essay" by the late Alan Watts. This is what Watts has to say about the importance of dialogue:

"When Buddhism is called the dharma, the word has the meaning of method rather than doctrine. For, speaking very strictly, there are no Buddhist doctrines. The method is essentially a dialogue between a Buddha, a person who is awakened to his real identity, and an ordinary individual who experiences himself as a seperate being.

"The dialogue begins when the latter raises a question, which may be as radical and simple as how to escape from suffering. What happens then is that the teacher (though the Asian idea of a guru is not really what we mean by a teacher) proposes an experiment. He does not give an answer, but rather suggests something that the enquirer might do to test the grounds upon which he bases the problem. He may suggest that since suffering is the consequence of desire, the solution is to eliminate desire, and then send the enquirer away to try that.

"Thus what appear to be the doctrines of Buddhism, as that the origin of suffering is desire or craving, are in fact only the opening stages of a dialogue (involving also a series of experiments) - a dialogue that may conclude in a way that is hardly foreshadowed at the beginning."

Given our current climate I'm all for softening our tounges rather than sharpening our knives.

Say It With Flowers

When my dad died we had a family discussion about what kind of floral tributes would be appropriate at his funeral. As he had no religious views of any kind, we felt we wanted to offer something that would reflect what was important in his life. So, being a keen darts player all his life the answer was obvious - a dartboard wreath (shown here).

Less than a week after my dad's funeral I attended another. Chris, a friend of my brother Keith, died unexpectedly at the age of 38. My brother and Chris were regular skiers so Keith decided on a floral tribute depicting a pair of skis on a snowy slope and it was...well, pretty cool!

When I went to the florists to pay the bill for my dad's wreath, going through the door I had to stand to one side as they were on their way out carrying a three-foot square rubik cube! I was much impressed and asked the lady what other unusual floral tributes she had been asked to provide. She told me she had once been asked to come up with two cigarettes which would cover the whole length of the coffin! Apparently, the man had died from lung cancer and when he made his will he requested that his family do this in the hope that it would act as a reminder.

I'll obviously have to give this a bit of thought where my own funeral is concerned. At the moment I quite fancy a floral tribute depicting a Waterstone's book token. I just hope the florist is up to the challenge!