The Courage to Laugh

"Perhaps the most prominent death-related paradox is the bittersweet quality of death itself. On the one hand, the loss of a loved one is harsh. But on the other hand, there is some sweetness in knowing that death can put an end to a loved one's suffering.

I have always been attracted to bittersweet things. Perhaps that is, in part, the reason for my attraction to death and humour. I see death not as a sorrowful termination of a lifetime, but as the culmination of one's existence and the beginning of another - a death and a birth all at once. All the joy of birth and all the sorrow of death are brought into one bittersweet moment.

In our culture, we have chosen to emphasize the difference between life and death. In ancient Eastern cultures, life and death are not classified as opposing forces but simply as aspects of existence. Perhaps these Eastern cultures are more attuned to the paradoxical, bittersweet nature of death...

After my wife Ellen, died, I found some of her writing. One place was especially poignant. It talked about loving life and not wanting to leave, but the next sentence spoke of Ellen's paradox. She always loved mysteries. In fact, when she died I found 110 murder mysteries in our library. Ellen's paradox was that although she loved life, dying would solve life's greatest mystery: "The hereafter holds a great temptation out to me, " she wrote. "I love mysteries and having the answer to that one would be gratifying. But I do love life. The choice continues to boggle my mind and my reason. I know too that I love drama and perhaps this is all merely part of the big show."

The Courage to Laugh: Humor, Hope and Healing in the Face of Death and Dying
Allen Klein (1998)